Play Dates

Last weekend, JR had a playdate. Unlike the playdates my children enjoyed, JR's was a playdate with adults. Lizzie, our great friend Kat and I took JR for a picnic at a park with apparatus just for little people. We had a picnic, played in the park and back at Kat's.  It was a glorious day. It made me start thinking about when Matt and Lizzie were little......

I was so blessed when my children were little to be able to be at home with them. Despite the disastrous effects to the family financial picture, it was worth every moment and penny, literally. Even though I loved every minute at home, I still needed to have some adult time and friends of my own. I was incredibly lucky to meet a group of women who had children the same age as Matt. At that time, all of us had only one child and we were all home with our children. We took turns hosting playdates where the kids played and the moms watched and talked. I am pretty sure they started when the kids were all about 7-8 months old so maybe the word playing is a bit of a stretch for a while at least.

I don't think I realized at the time, the impact that group of women would have on my life, or that the memories made there would be some of my sweetest. Because I had no family near, those women became my family. We took turns babysitting, swapping sickness, and caring for one another through the years as our children grew. Eventually we formed a bowling team and joined a league with other young mothers (this was the midwest, you know...). That once a week outing, with the children in the nursery, were the highlights of the week. Then, as with happens with close friends, we all got pregnant with our seconds at the same time. Everyone delivered within about six weeks of each other. That made bowling interesting to say the least! Nothing like going for your approach only to be stopped in your tracks with an aggressive baby kick. As each of the seconds made it to the six week mark, back to the lanes we went, infant seats lined up with our shoes.

Of the original playdate group, my closest friend was Pat. Ryan and Matt played for hours while we quizzed each other with Trivial Pursuit cards. While pregnant with Adam and Lizzie, we tried every recipe for Cole slaw we could find (a mutual craving) and painted each others toe nails to the refrain of "Mattie, are you?" as the boys played hide and seek. There was one time when Matt chased Ryan with a butter knife but that is a whole other story. Through Pat, I met Barbie, a sorority sister of Pat's. The three of us formed a tight bond through playdates with the boys and lunches where we drank coffee and Crystal Light with great abandon. When it would be mine turn to host, I remember scouring my cookbooks for something easy and great to make for my friends and our kids. As the boys grew, so did the fun they had together, especially outside in nice weather where they could holler and run all they wanted. All the boys accepted Lizzie into the group, even as they looked at her somewhat confused as she was always wearing a dress and party shoes (her choice always) while she ran and hollered with the best of them.

My grandchildren and their parents will have different memories. Their lives are different from mine was when they were little.....not better or worse, just different. What I do wish for them is to grow up with a little group of friends that they will remember when they are old. And for their parents, my precious children, I wish they will find friends like Pat and Barbie who will impact their lives in a profound way and whose friendship is cherished even though we are far apart.